Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
