Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
