his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
