I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
