If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
