so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize