Small penises have feelings too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
