Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
