Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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