you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
