I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
