everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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