the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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