Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
