i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
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You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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