dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize