Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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