someone get that fucking seahorse.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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