its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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