At least make sure they are 18
Why
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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