he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
