peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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