I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
