butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am one with the molecules
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
