I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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