how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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