I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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