he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
