Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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