Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
