Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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