I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize