dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
