Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He shit in the fireplace
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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