I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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