y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
