i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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