i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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