I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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