I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize