im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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