We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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