I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize