Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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