grandma shit on top of the toilet
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have fence marks all over my body
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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