Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
