One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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