It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
