Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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