so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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