We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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