your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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