I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
