The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
