She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
