I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize