i jhust puked up my retainher.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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