I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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